Katherine Parkinson – ‘I’m Still Learning How to Be Me’

*triggers: contains description of physical assault Katherine Parkinson is the two‑time BAFTA‑winning actor beloved for The IT Crowd, Doc Martin, Humans and most recently, Rivals, the hit Jilly Cooper adaptation that became an international Emmy winner. Fresh from her latest BAFTA win, she joins Elizabeth to reflect on the unexpected turns that shaped her life – from Surbiton to Oxford, from comedy to chaos, and from self‑doubt to a hard‑won sense of confidence. In this episode, we talk about her childhood dreams of becoming an astronaut, how her brothers are convinced she’s in MI5 (we will never know), the class anxieties that coloured her university years, her lifelong battle with disorganisation and the pressure she put on herself to “earn her place”. Katherine also opens up – for the first time – about a violent assault she minimised for years, the shame she carried and how motherhood has reframed her understanding of fear, safety and resilience. We also explore the joy she found in acting, the liberation of embracing her own contradictions, the friendships that sustained her and the work that goes into rebuilding after trauma. ✨ IN THIS EPISODE: 00:00 Intro 03:48 Northern Ireland Roots 04:06 Why Rivals Works 05:34 Class and Oxford 08:08 Lizzie and Fred Fred 10:51 Jilly Cooper Loss 14:03 Failure One Disorganised 15:46 Exam Breakdown Story 19:14 Fear of Winning 20:52 MI5 and Astronaut Dreams 22:07 Academia vs Acting 23:07 Pressure and Perfectionism 23:59 Choosing the Actor Path 25:23 Facing Unprocessed Trauma 26:04 Assault 30:03 Shame and Cultural Context 33:45 Anxiety and Motherhood 38:56 Anger and Survival Instincts 40:08 Oboe Failure and Braces 42:21 Failing Freely as an Actor 43:49 Happiness and Goodbye 💬 QUOTES TO REMEMBER: “My mum has always said to me, ‘You’re not afraid to fail’” “I don’t think I’ve ever been in a company [as Rivals] where everybody makes me laugh so much, and that is literally all I care about.” “I used to want to be an astronaut.” 🔗 LINKS + MENTIONS: All episodes of Rivals are now available to stream on Disney+ in the UK and internationally, with new episodes dropping weekly and a second instalment arriving later in the year. In the US, the series is available exclusively on Hulu. Join the How To Fail community: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Elizabeth’s Substack: www.theelizabethday.substack.com 📚 WANT MORE? Danny Dyer – the actor and national treasure on identity, anger, vulnerability and learning to break the patterns you were born into: swap.fm/l/L192dU5DZHQnCUjFWuX8 Miranda Hart – the beloved comedian and writer on anxiety, belonging, people-pleasing and finding the courage to take up space: swap.fm/l/oTScN30b80GflJtO4rgu 💌 LOVE THIS EPISODE? Subscribe on Spotify, Apple or wherever you get your podcasts Leave a 5⭐ review – it helps more people discover these stories 👋 Follow How To Fail & Elizabeth: Instagram: @elizabday TikTok: @howtofailpod Podcast Instagram: @howtofailpod Website: www.elizabethday.org Guest bookings for How To Fail only come from official @sonymusic.com emails Elizabeth answers listener questions in our subscriber series, Failing with Friends. Join our community of subscribers here: www.howtofail.supportingcast.fm/#content Have a failure you’re trying to work through for Elizabeth to discuss? Click here to get in touch: howtofailpod.com Production & Post Production Coordinator: Eric Ryan Engineer: Matias Torres Assistant Producer: Shania Manderson Senior Producer: Hannah Talbot Executive Producer: Alex Lawless How to Fail is an Elizabeth Day and Sony Music Entertainment Production. Find more great podcasts from Sony Music Entertainment at sonymusic.com/podcasts To bring your brand to life in this podcast, email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com _________________________________________________________________________ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices