Caroline Maguire: Why do adult friendships feel so hard?

Episode 212 with Caroline Maguire

“All the kids I worked with were like, 'I would love to have a friend.' All the adults were like, 'Something's wrong with me, I don't have friends.' And I was like — no, no, no. Nothing's wrong with you.”

Caroline Maguire is an ADHD coach, friendship expert, and author of the new book, “Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults: A Guide for the Anxious, Uniquely Wired, and Easily Distracted.” If you’ve ever felt like you missed the “how to be a friend” manual — or that you can do intense one‑on‑one connection but still don’t feel like you truly belong anywhere — this conversation is for you.

We dig into why neurodivergent wiring affects the way we show up in friendships, and what it actually looks like to build connection on our own terms. Caroline offers a deeply neuroaffirming roadmap to adult friendship, with language for patterns many of us have felt but never named, plus practical tools that don’t ask you to mask or be “less” of yourself.

Key topics discussed:

Caroline’s journey into ADHD coaching and why friendship became her niche
The difference between connection vs. belonging for neurodivergent adults
Key friendship mindsets: scarcity thinking, all‑or‑nothing, anxious over‑correcting, and the impulsive friendship cycle
Fortressing: what it is, why we do it, and how it protects and isolates us
The five levels of friendship and how mismatched expectations create pain
Communirelating: explaining how your brain works without apologizing for it
Practical strategies for structured socializing and automating check‑ins

Website: carolinemaguireauthor.com

Instagram: @authorcarolinem

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