When One Sex Loses, Everyone Loses: Warren Farrell on the Boy Crisis, Dad-Deprivation & Healing the Gender Divide

Ep. 234 | Renowned thought leader, speaker, and prolific author Warren Farrell has a passion for getting the truth out about issues that matter deeply—issues with enormous human consequences that might begin to heal if people better understood the forces driving these trends: the boy crisis, fatherlessness, the cultural tendency to vilify men, and the lack of healthy and effective communication between men and women. Warren has authored several data-driven bestselling books that go right to the heart of these matters, and in this conversation his expertise is clearly evident, right alongside his dedication to do everything he can to shift the evolution of the harmful idea that women are good but men are bad.

Warren has put himself on the line time and again to stand up for fatherless boys. He puts out a clarion call to couples to communicate with care, so that a father can be involved with the raising of a child, and in his books and workshops, Warren offers concrete steps to minimize children’s trauma, such as his four must-do’s after a divorce and the caring and sharing practices he teaches couples around accepting criticism without getting defensive. Immensely insightful, immensely practical, Warren points the way forward through a territory that has become murky, difficult, and hateful. Guaranteed, you will learn things about our contemporary culture you didn’t know before, and be inspired to do what you can to heal the disastrous divide between the sexes. Recorded September 25, 2025.

“We’re all in this together. We’re all in the same family boat.”

Topics & Time Stamps

• Introducing Warren Farrell, outstanding feminist, intellectual father of the men’s movement, champion of gender role innovations & prolific author (00:54)
• How did Warren come to champion the women’s movement? (02:33)
• The opposite of power & privilege: what men are giving up (05:35)
• Toxic masculinity (11:05)
• Why do men commonly trade put-downs? (14:29)
• Misinterpreting male behavior & the need for dialogue between men & women (18:29)
• Sexual harassment and the “believe women letter” (22:01)
• After a divorce, the child’s needs need to come first (26:04)
• Speaking up about the importance of father involvement in raising boys changed Warren’s professional trajectory (30:29)
• Death from overwork, called kuroshi in Japan (33:55)
• Fatherless children have issues in 55 different areas, and the biggest predictor of male suicide is lack of father involvement (37:10)
• The idea that women are good, men are bad (38:26)
• Biological effects of lack of father involvement (40:22)
• 4 must-do’s after divorce to minimize children’s trauma (41:37)
• Rough-housing is a gift (44:07)
• A father’s unconditional love incorporates conditions (49:07)
• Teasing, one of the 7 important contributions that fathers make (50:31)
• Couples counseling: why is criticism so hard to handle? (54:04)
• Teaching couples to communicate effectively is the most important way to prevent the boy crisis (58:03)
• The relation between dad-deprived youth, gang membership, prison & being a victim of sexual molestation (58:53)
• The worst thing you can do after a divorce (01:05:11)
• The biggest hole in my heart and the best decision of my life: John Lennon (01:09:16)
• The ramifications of dad-deprivation in 1965 and currently (01:17:40)
• A closer look at gender differences in income (01:21:57)
• The feminist argument against Warren (01:31:00)
• When only one sex wins, both sexes lose (01:36:06)
• What can men do to help boys? (01:38:37)
• We need to work toward equality while recognizing our evolutionary differences (01:40:50)
• Our bias about men being full-time dads (01:45:06)
• Important skills Warren teaches in his Role Mate to Soul Mate book & his online course (01:51:48)
• Warren’s current book-in-progress, The Man Crisis (01:57:17)
• Roger’s summary of the extraordinary impact Warren has had on our culture (01:59:00)

Resources & References

• Warren Farrell’s website, https://warrenfarrell.com/, and YouTube channel, https://www.youtube.com/user/drwarrenfarrell
• Warren Farrell & John Gray, The Boy Crisis: Why Our Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It
• Warren Farrell, Why Men Are the Way They Are, The Myth of Male Power, Why Men Earn More: The Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap – and What Women Can Do About It
• Warren Farrell, From Role Mate to Soul Mate: The Seven Secrets to Lifelong Love
• National Organization for Women (NOW)
• National Coalition for Men (NCFM), a non-profit educational & civil rights organization that addresses sex discrimination against men and boys
• Marilyn French, The Women’s Room
• John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
• Spotlight, movie about the Boston Globe uncovering a massive child molestation scandal within the local Catholic Archdiocese
• The Boy Crisis TEDx talk with Warren Farrell
• The 1965 Moynihan Report on the huge population of black, dad-deprived youth
• Gloria Steinem, leader of second-wave feminism in the U.S.
• The Boy Crisis: Cancel Warren Farrell (YouTube documentary)
• Mankind Project: Initiation Weekend + Integration Training
• Boys to Men Mentoring, co-founded by Joe Sigurdson
• Young Men’s Ultimate Weekend, founded by Mark Schillinger
• Big Brothers Big Sisters of America
• John Gray, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex

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Warren Farrell, PhD, has been chosen by the Financial Times of London as one of the world’s top 100 thought...