Sober Stories: Tom

In this week's episode of Sober Stories from Everyday People I am chatting to Tom from Bolton, Leeds.

Tom grew up in Leeds and began drinking young, navigating restlessness, big emotions, and a sense of never quite fitting in. Drinking quickly became a way to cope, to belong, and to quiet an inner discomfort he couldn’t yet explain. As the years went on, alcohol became tightly woven into masculinity, friendships, and work culture, reinforcing the belief that drinking was simply “what men do.”

As his drinking escalated through his late teens and twenties, Tom describes a growing emotional numbness and disconnection from himself. By his early thirties, despite outward signs of a settled life, he found himself feeling stuck, depressed, and without purpose.

Since stopping drinking, Tom speaks openly about the internal shifts he’s experienced; learning to sit with emotions, rebuilding motivation, and reconnecting with a sense of self that had long been buried.

Towards the end of the episode, Tom shares an important realisation: that many of the struggles he had spent years trying to numb with alcohol are now making sense through the lens of ADHD. Understanding this has brought him compassion, clarity, and a deeper understanding of why sobriety was never just about alcohol, it was about finally learning how his mind works.

Helpful links:

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1. Alcohol Change UK
   • Website: https://www.alcoholchange.org.uk
   • Helpline: 0800 917 8282 (Available Monday to Friday 9 AM - 8 PM)
2. Mind (Mental Health Support)
   • Website: https://www.mind.org.uk
   • Helpline: 0300 123 3393
3. NHS Alcohol Support Services
   • Website: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/alcohol-misuse