216 | can kids actually mask? understanding autism in high-masking children

about this episode (+ scroll for resources) 👇

one reason autism can be missed in children is the belief that kids “can’t mask.”

but they absolutely can.

in this episode, dr. tay breaks down what masking can look like in autistic children, including why a child may seem “fine” at school but completely fall apart at home.

you’ll learn how masking can be conscious or unconscious, how culture and reinforcement shape behavior, and why subtle signs matter so much during autism evaluations.

this episode is especially helpful if you’ve ever wondered why your child seems so different across environments, or if you’ve been told their challenges must be “just behavioral” because they are not showing up everywhere.

in this episode, you’ll hear:

• why autistic children can mask, even at young ages
• how masking can contribute to delayed or missed autism diagnoses
• why kids may hold it together all day and then melt down at home
• the difference between conscious masking and subconscious masking
• how reinforcement, modeling, and culture, can shape masking behaviors
• why people pleasing and anxiety often plays a role in masking and self-advocacy
• what evaluators need to understand when assessing high-masking children
• how to create safer spaces for kids to unmask and build self-advocacy over time

timestamps

00:00 understanding masking in children

02:50 the cycle of masking and rebound effects

05:49 the nuances of masking: conscious vs. unconscious

09:05 cultural influences on masking behaviors

11:52 modeling and reinforcement in masking

15:01 people-pleasing traits and their impact

17:57 the role of anxiety in masking

20:47 evaluation challenges in high-masking individuals

23:52 subtle indicators of autism in masking

26:54 creating safe spaces for unmasking

29:47 empowering self-advocacy in autistic children

resources

⚡️ autism traits guide — a $7 parent-friendly resource breaking down autism diagnostic criteria and sharing more in-depth traits, including those in high masking individuals

⚡️ high masking continuing education (CE) training for clinicians

⚡️ learn more about diagnostic evaluations through dr. tay concierge clinical care