212: Why You Can't Let Go (Even When You Know You Should)

Why can't you let it go? You typed the text, deleted it three times, and sent it anyway just to get the last word. In part one of a three-part series, Sabrina Zohar breaks down the fight response: keeping score, replaying old arguments, the silent treatment, test texts, and why anger rumination keeps you stuck instead of setting you free. Whether you're single, dating, or years into a relationship, this one is for anyone who can't stop fighting to be right. Sabrina gets honest about how needing the last word costs you sleep, connection, and the chance to actually be known, how triggers resurface after an abusive relationship, and why your reactions reveal more about your history than the person in front of you. You'll leave with one research-backed tool, the 20-minute rule, to calm down before you say or send something you'll regret. Expect real, warm, no-bullshit guidance on attachment, dating, and putting the armor down. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠ Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book Take the new and improved dating quiz! sabrinazohar.com/quiz If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  ⁠HERE!⁠ If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠ Get Ad free ⁠HERE!⁠  Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video. Want to work with Sabrina? ⁠HERE!⁠  Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show ⁠HERE!⁠  Don't forget to follow ⁠Sabrina⁠ and ⁠The Sabrina Zohar Show⁠ on Instagram and ⁠Sabrina ⁠on TikTok! Video now available on ⁠YOUTUBE!⁠ Chapters: 00:00 Why you can't let it go 02:35 What being triggered really means 04:50 Needing the last word 08:41 Keeping score in relationships 10:58 Test texts and silent treatment 13:53 Fight as a survival response 16:43 Why we match the energy 20:25 Testing for reassurance 24:41 Anger rumination explained 27:41 The 20 minute rule Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices