205: How to Heal After a Breakup When You're Anxious

It's 2am, you've checked their Instagram three times, and your body still aches for the person you know wasn't right. In this episode, Sabrina unpacks the anxious attachment breakup: why anxiously attached people chase, ruminate, and spiral after a relationship ends, what new research reveals about the nervous system pull toward an ex, and the one move keeping most anxious people stuck in the loop. This is part one of a four-part breakup series covering anxious, avoidant, disorganized, and secure attachment styles. Expect honest talk on post-breakup rumination, no contact, withdrawal symptoms, self-abandonment, and how to stop chasing emotionally unavailable partners, plus a 30-second reframe to interrupt the spiral the next time your brain starts to loop. Pre-order Sabrina's book coming out October 2026,⁠ "Why Am I Like This?"⁠ Get your free workbook and access to the companion course after pre-ordering 'Why Am I Like This?' by filling out the form at the bottom of the page at http://sabrinazohar.com/book If you’re ready to slow down, trust your instincts, and break your old dating patterns, the Healthy Relationship Foundations Course walks you through it step-by-step  ⁠HERE!⁠ If you’re serious about changing your dating patterns instead of repeating them, the Art of Going Slow course helps you unlearn urgency, regulate your nervous system, and build real connection without rushing, chasing, or abandoning yourself ⁠HERE!⁠ Get Ad free ⁠HERE!⁠  Watch on Spotify. Spotify subscribers get fewer ads on my video. Want to work with Sabrina? ⁠HERE!⁠  Get merch for The Sabrina Zohar Show ⁠HERE!⁠  Don't forget to follow ⁠Sabrina⁠ and ⁠The Sabrina Zohar Show⁠ on Instagram and ⁠Sabrina ⁠on TikTok! Video now available on ⁠YOUTUBE!⁠ Please support our sponsors! Start your new morning ritual & get up to 43% off your @MUDWTR with code SABRINAZOHAR at mudwtr.com/SABRINAZOHAR! #mudwtrpod This episode is sponsored by Betterhelp. Get 10% off your first month of Betterhelp at betterhelp.com/sabrina Go to ⁠IM8HEALTH.com/SABRINA⁠ and use code SABRINA for a Free Welcome Kit, five free travel sachets plus ten percent off your order ============================= Chapters: 00:00 - The 2am anxious breakup spiral 04:54 - Why you feel withdrawal from your ex 07:08 - Rumination and the pull toward your ex 11:43 - Both sides of an anxious breakup 15:48 - Why your 2am thoughts feel true 17:21 - Self punishment after a breakup 20:23 - How to actually get over a breakup 24:45 - Why anxious people grow most 27:47 - Tool of the week: the reframe swap 31:12 - Grief vs self punishment Disclaimer: The Sabrina Zohar Show, formerly known as Do The Work, is not affiliated with A.Z & associates LLC in any capacity. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices