#018 - Michael Smoak - 6 Questions You Need to Ask Your Parents Before They're Gone

If your parents are still alive, watch this for a time sensitive message. If they aren't, watch this for your own current or future children. If neither of those are true, watch this to touch that beautiful place inside of you that is connected to everything.

There are questions I've held about my father, about his first marriage, about who he was before he was my dad, that I have not had the courage to ask. Not because I don't want to know, but because there has always been more time.

This conversation woke me up.

Michael Smoak didn't have more time. He had 7 months to both ask and deliver everything to his father before it was over.

Today, we went to the places most people spend an entire life avoiding. The exact questions to ask your parents before it's too late, the two moments that made God undeniable to him, why your father was once a little boy full of fears and dreams and what changes in you the second you remember that, the reason he never missed a single post while his dad was dying, the six things he believes a man must have in place before he is ready for a wife, what he still wants to know from his mother, why the death of a father is the only coming of age ritual men in this culture are given, how to feel grief all the way through instead of letting it quietly run the rest of your life, and what he would say to anyone still telling themselves they'll have that conversation next year.

I have had conversations on this show that moved me. This one changed the way I look at my own father, and it changed what I'm going to do about it.

If your parents are still here, this episode is a phone call you have been putting off. Please make it.

I hope you enjoy, and if you do, let me know by liking, commenting, and subscribing to the show.

I am committed out of my mind to bringing you conversations that alter the direction of your life, leading you to a deeper sense of belonging in the context of the world.

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Chapters

02:58 What Alex & Leila Hormozi Are Really Like

08:31 Self-Development vs Self-Actualisation

11:09 The Moment God Became Undeniable

14:05 Something Was Wrong With His Dad

17:39 Grief Is an Ocean

24:06 The Prayer That Changed Everything

26:03 Why Surrender Is So Hard for Men

27:54 How to Actually Find Your Purpose

28:21 What to Ask Your Parents Before They Die

38:42 The Sunset Lesson He'll Never Forget

44:59 The Obituary Is Full of People Who Had Plans

50:15 A Prisoner in His Own Body

51:02 What Ifs vs Oh Wells

52:26 Don't Learn This the Hard Way

53:16 The One Question He'd Still Ask His Dad

57:36 Why Men Have No Coming of Age Ritual

59:52 The Lion King & the Death of the Father

1:03:00 Why He Never Missed a Single Post

1:03:59 Building Systems That Survive Anything

1:09:58 The Sermon He Was Never Supposed to Find

1:11:59 Blowing Up Online While His Dad Was Dying

1:14:28 Mend It While They're Still Here

1:15:17 What He Still Wants to Know From His Mom

1:21:38 Is Michael Dating?

1:22:43 The Cost of a Public Relationship

1:25:59 Most Men Have the EQ of a 14-Year-Old

1:26:50 The Danger of "Just Good Enough"

1:29:46 Six Things a Man Needs Before Finding His Woman

1:32:35 Billy's Story: Learning to Date Himself

1:41:09 The Healing Only a Relationship Can Do

1:44:18 It Isn't Easy But It Is Simple: Dating

1:45:35 It Isn't Easy But It Is Simple: Porn Addiction

1:48:40 It Isn't Easy But It Is Simple: Self Love

1:52:10 It Isn't Easy But It Is Simple: Public Speaking

1:57:43 What Makes a Man

1:58:31 The Most Important Thing a Parent Can Give

1:59:40 Three Days Before His Dad Died

2:03:11 What Men and Women Actually Need

2:05:12 It Isn't Easy But It Is Simple: Religion

2:09:03 How to Survive Losing a Parent

2:12:09 What Actually Matters at the End